Empowering the Village: Practical Conversations to Support the People Raising and Caring for Mokopuna

 Legacy of Love is Stronger than the Legacy of Pain.

Trauma - the individual's experience of the event and their perception of it. An experience that overwhelms a person's ability to cope.

Trauma Response - different for everyone, stored in the body and comes back as a reaction in the body rather than a cognitive memory.

Your Trauma has a Whakapapa - Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/episode/0J4Mm4uxPjCBYTeqr2TxUI

A resilient nervous system isn't always calm; it moves through swings of stress and calm.

The body doesn't always match the words, so it helps us understand the response.

Sympathetic pathway - flight / fight state - tunnel vision - not personal; just the history and experiences they are projecting onto you.

You are able to be a Curious observer if you are able to regulate your sympathetic pathway when someone in flight/fight is reacting to a trauma experience.

Work with biology, not against biology! Hit it so it is responsive, not reactive!

Connect with your nervous system first - put your oxygen mask on first - drop your shoulders and jaw intentionally, slow your breath and feel your feet on the ground

Mobilise, mobilise, mobilise! - walk to regulate, spin, move, get active - five ways of wellbeing

Something cold, something sour - cold flannel/cloth behind the neck (science lab/reset room), lemon or imagining sucking something sour stimulates saliva, which stimulates the stomach, which helps regulate.

Body resistance exercise and heavy work activities - push down on chair while pulling up

Physiological sigh - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxOSlR_Mf-s

Dorsal Vagal Pathway

Signs of Dorsal Vagal Activation

Physical: Extreme fatigue, low blood pressure, slowed heart rate, feeling cold or heavy, and digestive slowdown.

Emotional/Mental: Numbness, dissociation, feeling detached from the body, depression, or a sense of utter hopelessness.

Behavioral

Collapsing, going quiet, withdrawing from social contact, or being completely unable to speak or move.

Interoception—often called the "8th sense"—is the ability to notice and interpret internal bodily signals (like heart rate, breathing, muscle tension, temperature, or a full bladder) and link them to emotions or physical needs.

Building Body Vocabulary & Awareness

• Body Scans: Lead short "head-to-toe" check-ins asking children to notice internal signals without judgment ("Is your stomach full, empty, or fluttering? Is your chest feeling tight or soft?").

• Signal Identification Cards: Use visual charts linking internal body sensations to feelings (e.g., Fast heart + tight hands = anxious/excited; Cold hands + low energy = tired/overwhelmed).

• Explicit Naming: Model interoceptive language during regular class routines ("My throat feels dry, so my body is telling me I need water," or "My shoulders are up by my ears, which tells me I'm feeling rushed").

Noticing Physiology in Action

• Before & After Movement: Have students place a hand on their chest before and after a quick exercise (like jumping jacks or a game of tag) to notice how their heart rate and breathing shift from slow/quiet to fast/pounding.

• Temperature Tracking: Help children notice temperature changes when entering from outdoor play or when feeling flustered ("Notice if your cheeks feel hot right now").

• Hunger & Fullness Check-ins: During snack or lunch times, prompt students to notice how their stomach feels before and after eating rather than just focusing on finishing the food.

Environmental & Regulation Connections

• Bathroom & Hydration Signals: Teach children to listen to subtle physical cues (like a heavy lower belly or dry lips) before an urgent need arises.

• Connecting Sensation to Action: Guide students to choose a regulation strategy based on body cues ("If your hands feel jittery or filled with extra energy, let's try wall pushes or a hand squeeze").

• Breathing Feedback: Use tools like a pinwheel or a breathing ball (Hoberman sphere) so children can visually match their internal lung expansion to an external object.

Behaviour makes more sense when we understand it as a system in overload - not simply "misbehaviour"

• Over-sensitised to stress load
• Behaviours are clues to what is going on in the nervous system

What helps when you are in Dorsal Shutdown?

Reconnecting with the body

• Grounding techniques - notice patterns on the wall, feeling the back of the chair
• Gentle stretches and movement - releasing the energy
• Being in the presence of someone/animal soothing and safe
• Sensory items to touch and smell - hand cream, tapping 
• Music to alert the brain and body

Proprioception 

• Rolling Swiss over the back, wrap in a blanket 

• Pushing and Pulling ("Heavy Work")

  • Chair Push-Ups: Sitting on a chair, gripping the sides of the seat, and pushing up to lift the bottom off the chair for 3–5 seconds.

  • Wall Pushes: Standing facing a wall and pushing firmly against it with flat palms as if trying to move the wall.

  • Tug-of-War: Playing a quick game of tug-of-war using a sturdy rope or resistance band.

  • Desk/Table Pushes: Carrying or pushing small stacks of heavy books, classroom bins, or moving chairs.

  Weight and Pressure

  • Self-Hugs / Deep Squeezes: Wrapping arms tightly around the chest or squeezing arms and legs firmly down toward the ankles.

  • Weighted Objects: Carrying a weighted backpack, holding a lap pad, or hugging a heavy soft toy during floor time.

  • Beanbag Toss: Throwing and catching heavy beanbags or mini medicine balls.

  Movement and Resistance

• Animal Walks: Doing bear crawls, crab walks, or frog jumps across the room.

• Resistance Band Exercises: Pulling or stretching elastic exercise bands with the hands or keeping a band wrapped around chair legs to push feet against.

• Climbing and Hanging: Monkey bars, climbing frames, or hanging from a pull-up bar on the playground.

• Stomping & Jumping: Jumping on a trampoline or stomping firmly on the ground in place.
  

When do you want to implement proprioceptive input?

• Before and after transitions
• A whole-class regulation strategy
• During learning when you notice a child losing focus

Be careful of the please and appease response

Anchor yourself

• grounding
• temperature shift
• deep pressure
• safe image visualisation
• move my body
• hand cream
• physiological sigh
• transition ritual
• somatic anchoring
• listen to music
• tapping
• self compassion

Be Curious

• What is beneath the behaviour?
• Over-sensitised stress load
• Behaviours are clues
• Understanding the nervous system responses

Compassion

Creating Relational Predictability

• Consistent Greetings: Welcome every student by name at the door with a calm, warm presence, giving them a reliable standard start to their day.

• Transparent Schedules: Display visual timetables and preview changes/transitions ahead of time so children feel secure in knowing what comes next.

• Predictable Reactions: Maintain a steady, calm tone of voice even when a child is dysregulated, showing them that your support remains stable regardless of their behaviour.

Practising Curiosity Over Judgment

• Viewing Behaviour as Clues: Recognising that acting out, withdrawal, or "pleasing and appeasing" are signals of an overwhelmed nervous system, not deliberate misbehaviour.

• Non-Judgmental Inquiries: Asking open-ended, supportive questions like "I notice it's hard to focus on this right now—how is your body feeling?" rather than reprimanding off-task behaviour.

• Separating the Child from the Reaction: Acknowledging that fight/flight reactions are projections of stress or past experiences, not personal attacks on the teacher.

Regulating & Co-Regulating

• Putting Your Oxygen Mask On First: Intentionally lower your shoulders, unclench your jaw, and take a physiological sigh before responding to a stressful moment.

• Safe Presence: Sitting quietly near a child in dorsal shutdown or stress, offering a low-demand, reassuring presence without forcing them to talk immediately.

• Dignity-Saving Resets: Offering sensory options (like a cool cloth, hand cream, or a quick heavy-work errand) to help a child regulate without calling negative attention to them in front of peers.

Create Predictability

How can we show up with relational predictability?

Every ākonga needs to know: 

One hard moment does not mean we do not still want to help the child

PB4L-SW Mini Conference - 2026

Waimataitai School 

Starts with staff expectations - collaboratively created with staff at the start of the year.

Expectations for classroom, playground, etc 

Videos for lessons eg uniform, safe zone.

Expectations outside of school eg camps, etc

Introducing CPS 

Rolleston College

Starts with whakatauki 

Begun with The Rolleston Spirit and E Tū Tangata Mindset; now have the two merged together.

E Tū Tangata 

Utilising a tracking sheet to map out what is happening in the school

After a stand-down meeting, they have a stand-up meeting

Rolleston School - E Tū Tangata values - https://www.rolleston.school.nz/our-values/

Mairehau Primary School

Check and Connect from 8:30am with structured activities and expectations

Oxford Area School

Restorative Action Plan

Based on Recognise, Respond, Restore - possibly needs an empathy step and a space to determine if you need to park the unmet expectation; what is the need?

CPS

Mountainview High School

After four before the door - teachers to use strategies to keep ākonga in the class

If four times not meeting expectation, then head to the Reset Room to co-regulate with support from the reset room teacher who may record the information on the reflection document.

Restorative practice script - The Learning Script - not one and done as it is relational

St Martins School | Hato Mātene Kura

Albert the bird - designed by the kids and embedded throughout the school.

Albert now made into a costume and used at events etc.

Take Aways

CPS should be a go in school!

After a stand-down meeting, they have a stand-up meeting

E Tū Tangata would support our expectations and PB4L not replace it; however, will it add more layers and complexity? What would we drop? Would align with Rolleston College.

 

STRANDS OF E TŪ TĀNGATA

1. You Have Value
2. We Succeed Together
3. Others Matter

Reset Room and staffing - LA staffing or other staff member? 

https://www.twizel.school.nz//community-waka-values-form - values in the community - a great idea for the community to nominate ākonga showing their school values

Dr. Kathleen Liberty’s "Drink to Think" programme

Implementing Dr. Kathleen Liberty’s "Drink to Think" programme is one of the most cost-effective, high-impact ways to settle an anxious or hyperactive classroom. Because it relies on predictable routines, introducing it successfully is all about preparation and clear expectations.

This comes from Kathleen Liberty's research after the Christchurch Earthquakes.

Here is a step-by-step guide to rolling this out in your classroom.

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Phase 1: Preparation (Behind the Scenes)

Before you say a word to the students, you need to set up the environment for success.

 1. Secure the "Gear" - probably their own bottles in our school?

The Bottles: Ideally, every student should have an identical or similar water bottle kept at school to remove any socioeconomic competition. If funding allows, buy a class set of cheap, clear bottles.

Label Everything: Permanently mark each child’s name on their bottle.

The "Home Base": Designate a specific spot on their desks (e.g., the top right corner) where the bottle must sit. This prevents them from rolling around or being used as toys.

2. Map Your "Transition Triggers"

The magic of this programme lies in using hydration to calm the nervous system *during shifts in focus*. Look at your timetable and pick 3 to 4 specific trigger points. Excellent choices include:

* Immediately when the morning bell rings.

* Right after coming inside from morning recess/interval.

* Right after lunch.

* During a heavy cognitive shift (e.g., moving from active group work to silent writing).

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Phase 2: The Rollout (Day 1)

When you introduce the programme, frame it as a special "brain hack" rather than a strict new rule.

3. Teach the Science (Kid-Style)

Hold a class meeting and explain why you are doing this.

The Analogy: "Your brain is like a high-performance sports car (or a seedling). When it doesn't have enough water, the engine gets hot, grumpy, and slow. When we give it water, it cools down, thinks fast, and feels happy."

4. Practice the "Three Gulp Ritual"

Don't just tell them to drink; create a structured ritual. Teach them that when you say the cue, they aren't chugging the whole bottle—they are taking targeted "medicine" for their brain.

The Cue: "It's time to Drink to Think!"

The Action: Everyone stops, unscrews their bottle, takes three slow, deliberate swallows, and puts the bottle back on its launchpad.

Tip: Practice this like a game on Day 1. See how quickly and quietly the class can execute the "Three Gulp Ritual."

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Phase 3: Embedding the Habit (Week 1–2)

Consistency during the first fortnight is what turns a novelty into a subconscious classroom culture.

5. Pair it with "Play, Eat, Learn"

If your school allows flexibility, align this with Dr. Liberty’s broader framework. When kids come in from play, they are physically revved up.

Step A: Come inside from play.

Step B: Sit down and eat a small snack/lunch (chewing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, calming you down).

Step C: Hand out the water bottles for a "Drink to Think" moment.

Step D: Begin the lesson. You will find they are significantly more settled.

6. Expect (and Manage) the Bathroom Rush

For the first week, children's bodies will adjust to the increased water intake, and some will use it as an excuse to leave the room.

The Fix: Build a collective bathroom break into the schedule about 20 minutes after your first major "Drink to Think" slot. Normalise that their bodies are adjusting, but establish that "Drink to Think" time isn't an automatic pass to wander the hallways.

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Troubleshooting Tips for the Teacher

"They are playing with the bottles!" If a child is spinning or clicking the bottle, it calmly goes to "bottle jail" (your desk) for the rest of the block. They only get it back for the next official transition drink.

"What about spills?" It will happen. Keep a supply of paper towels right next to the bottle filling station. Frame spills as a minor accident, not a crime—but the student cleans it up.

Water Only: Be strict. No juice, no cordials, no flavour drops. The neurological benefits Dr. Liberty researched apply specifically to pure water. 

CPS Advanced Course - Session 2 of 2 - Ross W. Greene, PH.D

 Moving From Power and Control to Collaboration and Problem Solving (and Meeting Kids Where They're At)

Plan B - The Invitation Step

• The goal is to show kids that you’re as invested in addressing their concerns as you are in addressing your own.
• You don’t know where the plane is landing before it takes off (no preordained solutions).
• If there are multiple concerns that cannot be addressed by the same solution, prioritise which concerns are going to be addressed in this Plan B and which may be addressed in a subsequent Plan B.
  
• Before agreeing on a solution, give formal, deliberate consideration of whether the solution is realistic and mutually satisfactory…if not, refine the original solution or think of alternatives (one solution at a time…not brainstorming).
• The goal is to solve the problem so it doesn’t arise again…not to come up with a solution for what the kid should do in the heat of the moment when the problem recurs.
• Battling over solutions defines a power struggle (a win/lose proposition)…solving problems collaboratively is a win/win proposition.

What if the solution doesn’t work or stops working?

Solving problems tends to be incremental… the first solution sometimes doesn’t solve the problem durably… many problems require more than one discussion

• Solutions that don’t stand the test of time:

• weren’t as realistic as first thought

• weren’t as mutually satisfactory as thought

• didn’t address all the concerns (those that hadn’t yet been identified or prioritized)

Application in Clinical Settings: 

• Type 1 Session: ASUP
• Type 2 Session: Three Plans, Three Steps of Plan B
• Type 3 Session: Demonstration of Plan B
• Type 4 Session: Coaching of Plan B
• Type X: Addressing Interfering Factors

 Reinforce the neutral position you hold and that you take neither side. Explain and ask that we are crystal clear about what each is saying for the process to work.

If you think the solution is n ot going to work, it is okay to say, "I don't think this solution is going to work, let's defer and revisit next time. Explain why you do not think it is going to work. Explain upfront that you are a problem-solving facilitator; however, we are here to support a solution that supports both parties. More worried about the parent buy in and my need to explain how it may look to them.

If you don't have 40 minutes, you may have to do it in 3 X 15-minute sessions. Do not feel rushed by time.

Not our role to be the moral police, e.g., cheating on tests, etc. Our job is to support solving the problem. Not condoning immoral actions, just not our place to address!

What if the solution doesn’t work or stops working?

• Solving problems tends to be incremental… the first solution sometimes doesn’t solve the problem durably… many problems require more than one discussion
• Solutions that don’t stand the test of time:
• weren’t as realistic as I first thought
• weren’t as mutually satisfactory as thought
• didn’t address all the concerns (those that hadn’t yet been identified or prioritised)

Implementation in Schools and Facilities

• Leadership (get the ball rolling and commit)

• Move from Behaviours to Problems
• Intro PD
• Structure Problem Identification (ASUP for targeted kids)

• Solve Problems Collaboratively and Proactively
• Structures
• Helper

• Time

We have structures and Systems in Place to Enhance Learning. How do we place or enhance structures and Systems to enable time for Problem-solving?

https://livesinthebalance.org/nz/  - check out here for us Kiwis

How are the skills enhanced?

• Skills are being modeled, practiced, and enhanced in each of the three steps of Plan B.

• Solving problems is faster than enhancing skills.

• Plan B also helps build a problem-solving repertoire.

CPS Advanced Course - Session 1 of 2 - Ross W. Greene, PH.D

 Moving From Power and Control to Collaboration and Problem Solving (and Meeting Kids Where They're At)

• Prioritising / Triaging: You can’t solve everything at once.
• Expectation management: Remove expectations that are out of reach at this stage of development.
• Stabilising: Unsolved problems that have been put on hold don’t cause concerning behaviour. (Stabilization comes before education)

The Science Lab is a stabilising strategy we use at West Melton School, not a long-term one. Learners will do well if they can, and they need time to learn strategies to do so.

Drilling Strategies

Top Three Drilling Strategies:

1. Reflective listening and clarifying statements

2. Asking ”W” questions (the who, what, where, when of the unsolved problem)

8. Summarising (recapping and asking for more concerns)

3. Asking about the situational variability of the unsolved problem

4. Asking kids what they are thinking in the midst of the unsolved problem

5. Breaking the problem down into its component parts

6. Discrepant Observation

7. Tabling (“removing” and asking for more concerns)

If you are doing the empathy, you need to be happy with the answer, even if it is negative against you, or the child will not feel like they can tell you, as you are the one making it hard to meet the expectation.

Use the CHEAT SHEET!

Plan B: Empathy Step - never think of solutions in this step!

The kid says something

Additional Pointers:

• You’re not thinking about solutions in the Empathy step (it’s a “Solution-Free Zone”)
• Remember, “drilling” isn’t “grilling”…it involves “listening,” not “lessoning” or “lessening” (dismissing) or ”trumping” - where your concerns are more important than the childs
• Stay neutral and non-defensive throughout the Empathy step (suspend your emotional response…this step isn’t about you)…the information is more important than style points
• Don’t rush (the Empathy step is not a mechanical formality…you’re really curious…you really want to know!) - Curious not Furious!
• Don’t freak (“I don’t know”, and silence are pretty standard)
• Keep drilling

Other Responses to “What’s Up?”

”I don’t have a problem with that” or “I don’t care”

That’s the beginning of their concern or perspective…start drilling!

Other Responses to “What’s Up?”

”I don’t want to talk about it right now”

• First, assume they have a good reason
• Next, give them permission not to talk
• See if they’ll talk about why they don’t want to talk about it
• Don’t do anything today that will reduce the likelihood of the kid talking to you tomorrow

This is not a trickery model, it is a comfort model!

You can always wait until tomorrow, as these unsolved problems have been here for a while; one more day won't hurt.

Other Responses to “What’s Up?”

Defensiveness: ”I don’t have to talk to you!”

The kid may need reassurance that you’re not using Plan A

• I’m not going to tell you the solution”
• “You’re not in trouble”
• “I’m not mad at you”
• “I’m just trying to understand”

Plan B: Define Adult Concerns Step

Goal:

Enter the adult’s concern or perspective into consideration in a way that doesn’t cause the child to feel that their concerns are being dismissed or disregarded (beginning with “The thing is…” or “My concern is…”).

We often don't know what the true concern is as we are already coming to and imposing solutions!

Our concern is: why is it important that this expectation be met?

What’s Hard: Adults frequently don’t know what their concerns are…adult concerns are the answer

To this question: Why is it important that the expectation be met?

Two Possibilities:

1. How is the unsolved problem affecting the kid?

2. How is the unsolved problem affecting other people?

(Typically: Health, safety, learning, fairness)

Plan B: Invitation Step

Goal: Collaborate on a solution that is realistic and mutually satisfactory.

CPS Introductory Course - Session 2 of 2 - Ross W. Greene, PH.D

The ASUP is a Game Changer

Caregivers come to recognise that a child is struggling with multiple skills and having difficulty meeting expectations.

Are they all important? Which ones do we work on first?

• Can the kid reliably meet them all?
• Caregivers may begin to regret how they’ve been treating the child.
• Caregivers recognise that unsolved problems are predictable and can therefore be solved proactively. Do not wait till the problem pops up; pre-teach to solve the problem.

How do we prioritise?

Safety - Unsolved problems contributing to unsafe behaviours

Frequency - Unsolved problems occurring most often

Gravity - Unsolved problems having the greatest negative impact on the kid or others

The Problem Solving Plan

Who will solve the problem? Often, the person to whom the child is sent is not the right person to solve the problem. Once a problem is solved, it is removed from the plan, and the next one is added. Two sheets (ASUP and The Problem Solving Plan) are needed are free on the Lives in the Balance Website. 

Options for Handling Unsolved Problems

Plan A - solve the problem unitlaterally - the adult solves the problem by themself

The adult decides what the solution is and imposes it, often accompanied by adult-imposed consequences (“I’ve decided that…”)

• …causes concerning behaviours
• …is not a partnership
• …does not involve kids in solving the problems that affect their lives
• … provides no information whatsoever about the factors making it difficult for the kid to meet a given expectation… solutions arrived at through Plan A are “uninformed”

Plan B -  Solve the plan collaboratively - 

Empathy Step - Gather information from the child about what’s hard about meeting the expectation.

Goal: Gather information from kids to understand what’s making it hard for them to meet the expectation.

Introduction: The Empathy step begins with the words “I’ve noticed that” followed by an unsolved problem and an initial inquiry (“What’s up?”)

What happens after “What’s up?”

1. The kid says something

2. The kid says nothing or “I don’t know”

3. The kid says, “I don’t have a problem with that” or “I don’t care”

4. The kids say, “I don’t want to talk about it right now”

5. The kid responds defensively (“I don’t have to talk to you!”)

The kid says something

Top Three Drilling Strategies:

1. Reflective listening (mirroring) and clarifying statements

2. Asking ”W” questions (the who, what, where, when of the unsolved problem). Very rarely, why!

8. Summarising (recapping and asking for more concerns)

The kid says something

Drilling Strategies, cont.:

3. Asking about the situational variability of the unsolved problem

4. Asking kids what they are thinking in the midst of the unsolved problem

5. Breaking the problem down into its component parts

6. Discrepant Observation

7. Tabling (“removing” and asking for more concerns)

The kid says something

Additional Pointers:

• You’re not thinking about solutions in the Empathy step (it’s a “Solution-Free Zone”)
• Remember, “drilling” isn’t “grilling”…it involves “listening,” not “lessoning” or “lessening” (dismissing) or ”trumping”
• Stay neutral and non-defensive throughout the Empathy step (suspend your emotional response this step isn’t about you)…the information is more important than style points
• Don’t rush (the Empathy step is not a mechanical formality…you’re really curious…you really want to know!)

The kid says nothing or “I don’t know”

A few tips:

• Don’t freak (“I don’t know”, and silence are pretty standard)
• Keep drilling

Figure out why: Adult Factors

• You used Plan A
• You used Emergency Plan B instead of Proactive Plan B
• The unsolved problem wasn’t worded according to the guidelines
• Demeanour (facial expression, tone of voice, etc.)

Figure out why: Child Factors

• The kid doesn’t trust you and/or the process yet (due to lots of experience with Plan A)
• The kid has lost faith and doesn’t see the point in talking anymore
• Strategy: “Was it always so?”
• The kid needs time to think (adults better get comfortable with silence)
• The kid just doesn’t know or is having difficult putting their thoughts into words
• Strategy: “Do you know what you want to say but you’re not sure how to say it? Or are you not sure what you want to say?”
• Strategy: Educated guessing/ hypothesis testing

Plan B with Non-Speaking Kids

Some strategies:

• Five-finger method
• Yes/No
• Pictures/Google Images
• Apps
• Assistive technology

Plan B with High-Support Needs Kids Building toward Plan B:

• Finding a way for the child to communicate somehow about something (this means that)
• Something: preferences, that something is wrong, pain or need for sensory input
• Somehow: gestures, grunts, hand signals
• Your eyes are your most important assessment tool…often you’re not asking…you’re observing
• Your reference point is infants

Other Responses to “What’s Up?”

• ”I don’t have a problem with that” or “I don’t care”

That’s the beginning of their concern or perspective…start drilling!

Other Responses to “What’s Up?”

”I don’t want to talk about it right now”

• First, assume they have a good reason
• Next, give them permission not to talk
• See if they’ll talk about why they don’t want to talk about it
• Don’t do anything today that will reduce the likelihood of the kid talking to you tomorrow

Defensiveness: ”I don’t have to talk to you!”

• The kid may need reassurance that you’re not using Plan A
• “I’m not going to tell you the solution”
• “You’re not in trouble”
• “I’m not mad at you”
• “I’m just trying to understand”

Define Adult Concerns Step - Identify adult concerns.

Goal: Enter the adult’s concern or perspective into consideration in a way that doesn’t cause the child to feel that their concerns are being dismissed or disregarded (beginning with “The thing is…” or “My concern is…”).

What’s Hard: Adults frequently don’t know what their concerns are…adult concerns are the answer

to this question: Why is it important that the expectation be met?

Two Possibilities:

1. How is the unsolved problem affecting the kid?
2. How is the unsolved problem affecting other people? (Typically: Health, safety, learning, fairness)

Invitation Step - Collaborate on a solution that is realistic and mutually satisfactory.

Goal: Collaborate on a solution that is realistic and mutually satisfactory.

What’s hard: The Wording 

- Recap the concerns: ”I wonder if there’s away for us to do something about/make sure that (one party’s concerns) and also do something about/make sure that (the other party’s concerns).” 

- The kid is given the first opportunity to generate solutions (“Do you have any ideas? ”), but the resolution of the problem is a team effort (collaborative)

• The goal is to show kids that you’re as invested in getting their concerns addressed as you are in getting your own addressed.
• You don’t know where the plane is landing before it takes off (no preordained solutions).
• If there are multiple concerns that cannot be addressed by the same solution, prioritise which concerns are going to be addressed in this Plan B and which may be addressed in a subsequent Plan B.

Plan C - Put the Expectation on Hold for Now

• Prioritising / Triaging: You can’t solve everything at once.
• Expectation management: Remove expectations that are not realistic at this stage of development.
• Stabilising: Unsolved problems that have been put on hold don’t cause concerning behaviour. (Stabilisation comes before education). 

Do not be too keen to meet our expectations before the children are ready.

Put the Expectation on Hold for Now

Proactive C:

• Don’t bring it up - expectation example of brushing teeth - just do not mention - if they don't brush, they don't brush.
• An agreed-upon interim plan for putting the expectation on hold for now (not the same as modifying or adapting the expectation)

Emergency C:

“OK”, e.g., "I am not doing my social science project", answer "ok"

Fair does not mean equal… you’re aiming for EQUITY, not equality

We are educators, meaning we are in the equity business ....Your goal is to meet every kid where they’re at

Antecedent Interventions

✓ Modifying the environment to make it less aversive

✓ Changing task demands to make them easier, shorter, and less aversive

✓ Incorporating student interest and preferences

CPS Introductory Course - Session 1 of 2 - Ross W. Greene, PH.D

 Moving From Power and Control to Collaboration and Problem Solving (and Meeting Kids Where They're At)

Risk Factors

Being a Girl,  a boy, LGBTQ+, white, black or brown, caregiver mental health, decline of religion, high-stakes testing, neurodivergent, home and family life, politics and social media

As teachers or leaders, we can be highly aware and empathetic toward our students because of the many risk factors. Then adjust our interactions accordingly.

What should the protective ecosystems look like?

Paradigm Shift / Key Themes #1 - emphasis is on problems rather than on behaviours.

Concerning behaviour is often best thought of as a frustration or distress response. Behaviour is the signal the child communicates that they are having difficulty meeting certain behaviours.

• Concerning behaviours can be "lucky" or "unlucky"
• Less emphasis on unmet needs ...
• You're improving their behaviour by solving the problems that are causing it
• An unmet expectation is still an unsolved problem, even if not shown concerning behaviour
• We will require different assessment practices
  

In this model, we are the problem solvers, not the behaviour modifiers!

Paradigm Shift / Key Themes 2 - the problem-solving is collaborative, not unilateral (Ask the kid).

• Something you are doing with the kid rather than to them
• even if the kid can talk, but isn't or aren't talking because they can't
• Engaging kids in solving the problems is more effective at holding them accountable. Not as accountable when they are passive recipients of adult-imposed consequences
• T-I-M-E

To hold kids accountable, have them engaged in the process

Paradigm Shift / Key Themes #3 - the problem-solving is proactive, not proactive. (Don't be late)

• These kids are highly predictable, if we answer two questions proactively

1. Why do some kids respond so poorly to problems and frustrations? Answer - struggle with skills that are involved in responding to frustrations (flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance, problem solving, emotion regulation)
2. When do kids exhibit concerning behaviour? Answer - when they're having difficulty meeting certain expectations

• Once skills and unsolved problems are identified, intervention can largely be proactive.

Set Up to Be Late

• Give the kid a break
• Send the kid to the calming corner
• call for crisis managers
• Teach coping strategies - 90% should be helping kids anticipate and solve problems before they're frustrated
• de-escalation, restraint, seclusion
• Discipline referral, detention, suspension, expulsion
  
  

Thought - reframe the structure in the school to be a strength-based approach to ensure we are early with a child, not late?

Teaching coping strategies is generally for those who are not coping when they are frustrated. 

Paradigm Shift / Key Themes #4 - kids do well if they can

If kids could do well, they would do well - not kids do well if they wanna! Doing poorly does not work out better for the kid!

Not true: 

Attention-seeking - the kid has the skills to seek attention the right way, but chooses the wrong way cause it makes their life go better - not true, why would they? If behaviour were a lucky response, would they still be attention-seeking, or would they get comfort?

Manipulative

Coercive

Unmotivated

Limit-testing

Once we have a closer look using the assessment tools, we can see what unmet needs or skills they need support with.

Paradigm Shift / Key Themes #5 - Doing well is preferable

Solved problems don't cause concerning behaviours .... only unsolved problems do

Key Skills - flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance, problem solving, emotion regulation 

Enhancing skills takes longer than solving problems

Identifying skills and unsolved problems helps make the intervention proactive rather than reactive

Solve problems collaboratively and proactively - promotes a partnership, engages kids in solving the problems that affect their lives. 

Assessment of Skills and Unsolved Problems (ASUP 2024)

Step 1: 16 skills moved past the 4 global skills

The ASUP is a discussion guide, not a checklist or mechanism for quantifying.

ASUP helps us focus on what we can do to support the child

We are not trying to explain how the behaviour comes about - circle of control, what we can influence and what we cannot influence.

Guideline for Wording Unsolved Problems 

• free of concerning behaviours
• Unsolved problems start with the word "difficulty" followed by a verb
• eg difficultly getting started on ...

• free of adult theories -because we want to believe our theories are always right
• Our theories are often wrong
• assumption-free living - when not assuming gives you the power to ask instead of guess

• split not clumped
• Micro, not macro, e.g., difficulty being safe, getting along with others, following instructions
• "preferred" and "unpreferred" are clumped (and are also theories)

• as specific as possible
• Asking "w" questions (who, what, where, when ... not why!) Why means 20 minutes of assumptions of why they do something.
• Asking "what expectation is the child having difficulty meeting?"

A few more guidelines

• verb selection is the hardest part - use these - (completing, getting started on, participate in, get along with, going to, coming back from.
• "Upstream" unsolved problems are better than "downstream" unsolved problems.
• Desired behaviour is OK ......... concerning behaviour is not. Eg concerning behaviour - calling out to ask a question - desired behaviour - Difficulty raising a hand to ask a question.
• The wording of unsolved problems should be kid-friendly
• The unsolved problem is the "conversation" .... it's the "entry point".
• Even if the kid sometimes meets an expectation but not others, any expectation that a kid has difficulty reliably meeting is an unsolved problem.

Unsolved Problem Example

Nigel has difficulty getting started on keeping his workspace tidy.

The Core Philosophy: "Kids Do Well if They Can"

The fundamental shift is moving from the belief that kids do well if they want to (motivation-based) to the belief that kids do well if they can (skill-based). If a child is struggling, it isn't because they are manipulative or unmotivated; it is because they lack the skills to meet a specific expectation.