Empowering the Village: Practical Conversations to Support the People Raising and Caring for Mokopuna

 Legacy of Love is Stronger than the Legacy of Pain.

Trauma - the individual's experience of the event and their perception of it. An experience that overwhelms a person's ability to cope.

Trauma Response - different for everyone, stored in the body and comes back as a reaction in the body rather than a cognitive memory.

Your Trauma has a Whakapapa - Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/episode/0J4Mm4uxPjCBYTeqr2TxUI

A resilient nervous system isn't always calm; it moves through swings of stress and calm.

The body doesn't always match the words, so it helps us understand the response.

Sympathetic pathway - flight / fight state - tunnel vision - not personal; just the history and experiences they are projecting onto you.

You are able to be a Curious observer if you are able to regulate your sympathetic pathway when someone in flight/fight is reacting to a trauma experience.

Work with biology, not against biology! Hit it so it is responsive, not reactive!

Connect with your nervous system first - put your oxygen mask on first - drop your shoulders and jaw intentionally, slow your breath and feel your feet on the ground

Mobilise, mobilise, mobilise! - walk to regulate, spin, move, get active - five ways of wellbeing

Something cold, something sour - cold flannel/cloth behind the neck (science lab/reset room), lemon or imagining sucking something sour stimulates saliva, which stimulates the stomach, which helps regulate.

Body resistance exercise and heavy work activities - push down on chair while pulling up

Physiological sigh - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxOSlR_Mf-s

Dorsal Vagal Pathway

Signs of Dorsal Vagal Activation

Physical: Extreme fatigue, low blood pressure, slowed heart rate, feeling cold or heavy, and digestive slowdown.

Emotional/Mental: Numbness, dissociation, feeling detached from the body, depression, or a sense of utter hopelessness.

Behavioral

Collapsing, going quiet, withdrawing from social contact, or being completely unable to speak or move.

Interoception—often called the "8th sense"—is the ability to notice and interpret internal bodily signals (like heart rate, breathing, muscle tension, temperature, or a full bladder) and link them to emotions or physical needs.

Building Body Vocabulary & Awareness

• Body Scans: Lead short "head-to-toe" check-ins asking children to notice internal signals without judgment ("Is your stomach full, empty, or fluttering? Is your chest feeling tight or soft?").

• Signal Identification Cards: Use visual charts linking internal body sensations to feelings (e.g., Fast heart + tight hands = anxious/excited; Cold hands + low energy = tired/overwhelmed).

• Explicit Naming: Model interoceptive language during regular class routines ("My throat feels dry, so my body is telling me I need water," or "My shoulders are up by my ears, which tells me I'm feeling rushed").

Noticing Physiology in Action

• Before & After Movement: Have students place a hand on their chest before and after a quick exercise (like jumping jacks or a game of tag) to notice how their heart rate and breathing shift from slow/quiet to fast/pounding.

• Temperature Tracking: Help children notice temperature changes when entering from outdoor play or when feeling flustered ("Notice if your cheeks feel hot right now").

• Hunger & Fullness Check-ins: During snack or lunch times, prompt students to notice how their stomach feels before and after eating rather than just focusing on finishing the food.

Environmental & Regulation Connections

• Bathroom & Hydration Signals: Teach children to listen to subtle physical cues (like a heavy lower belly or dry lips) before an urgent need arises.

• Connecting Sensation to Action: Guide students to choose a regulation strategy based on body cues ("If your hands feel jittery or filled with extra energy, let's try wall pushes or a hand squeeze").

• Breathing Feedback: Use tools like a pinwheel or a breathing ball (Hoberman sphere) so children can visually match their internal lung expansion to an external object.

Behaviour makes more sense when we understand it as a system in overload - not simply "misbehaviour"

• Over-sensitised to stress load
• Behaviours are clues to what is going on in the nervous system

What helps when you are in Dorsal Shutdown?

Reconnecting with the body

• Grounding techniques - notice patterns on the wall, feeling the back of the chair
• Gentle stretches and movement - releasing the energy
• Being in the presence of someone/animal soothing and safe
• Sensory items to touch and smell - hand cream, tapping 
• Music to alert the brain and body

Proprioception 

• Rolling Swiss over the back, wrap in a blanket 

• Pushing and Pulling ("Heavy Work")

  • Chair Push-Ups: Sitting on a chair, gripping the sides of the seat, and pushing up to lift the bottom off the chair for 3–5 seconds.

  • Wall Pushes: Standing facing a wall and pushing firmly against it with flat palms as if trying to move the wall.

  • Tug-of-War: Playing a quick game of tug-of-war using a sturdy rope or resistance band.

  • Desk/Table Pushes: Carrying or pushing small stacks of heavy books, classroom bins, or moving chairs.

  Weight and Pressure

  • Self-Hugs / Deep Squeezes: Wrapping arms tightly around the chest or squeezing arms and legs firmly down toward the ankles.

  • Weighted Objects: Carrying a weighted backpack, holding a lap pad, or hugging a heavy soft toy during floor time.

  • Beanbag Toss: Throwing and catching heavy beanbags or mini medicine balls.

  Movement and Resistance

• Animal Walks: Doing bear crawls, crab walks, or frog jumps across the room.

• Resistance Band Exercises: Pulling or stretching elastic exercise bands with the hands or keeping a band wrapped around chair legs to push feet against.

• Climbing and Hanging: Monkey bars, climbing frames, or hanging from a pull-up bar on the playground.

• Stomping & Jumping: Jumping on a trampoline or stomping firmly on the ground in place.
  

When do you want to implement proprioceptive input?

• Before and after transitions
• A whole-class regulation strategy
• During learning when you notice a child losing focus

Be careful of the please and appease response

Anchor yourself

• grounding
• temperature shift
• deep pressure
• safe image visualisation
• move my body
• hand cream
• physiological sigh
• transition ritual
• somatic anchoring
• listen to music
• tapping
• self compassion

Be Curious

• What is beneath the behaviour?
• Over-sensitised stress load
• Behaviours are clues
• Understanding the nervous system responses

Compassion

Creating Relational Predictability

• Consistent Greetings: Welcome every student by name at the door with a calm, warm presence, giving them a reliable standard start to their day.

• Transparent Schedules: Display visual timetables and preview changes/transitions ahead of time so children feel secure in knowing what comes next.

• Predictable Reactions: Maintain a steady, calm tone of voice even when a child is dysregulated, showing them that your support remains stable regardless of their behaviour.

Practising Curiosity Over Judgment

• Viewing Behaviour as Clues: Recognising that acting out, withdrawal, or "pleasing and appeasing" are signals of an overwhelmed nervous system, not deliberate misbehaviour.

• Non-Judgmental Inquiries: Asking open-ended, supportive questions like "I notice it's hard to focus on this right now—how is your body feeling?" rather than reprimanding off-task behaviour.

• Separating the Child from the Reaction: Acknowledging that fight/flight reactions are projections of stress or past experiences, not personal attacks on the teacher.

Regulating & Co-Regulating

• Putting Your Oxygen Mask On First: Intentionally lower your shoulders, unclench your jaw, and take a physiological sigh before responding to a stressful moment.

• Safe Presence: Sitting quietly near a child in dorsal shutdown or stress, offering a low-demand, reassuring presence without forcing them to talk immediately.

• Dignity-Saving Resets: Offering sensory options (like a cool cloth, hand cream, or a quick heavy-work errand) to help a child regulate without calling negative attention to them in front of peers.

Create Predictability

How can we show up with relational predictability?

Every ākonga needs to know: 

One hard moment does not mean we do not still want to help the child