CPS Advanced Course - Session 1 of 2 - Ross W. Greene, PH.D

 Moving From Power and Control to Collaboration and Problem Solving (and Meeting Kids Where They're At)

• Prioritising / Triaging: You can’t solve everything at once.
• Expectation management: Remove expectations that are out of reach at this stage of development.
• Stabilising: Unsolved problems that have been put on hold don’t cause concerning behaviour. (Stabilization comes before education)

The Science Lab is a stabilising strategy we use at West Melton School, not a long-term one. Learners will do well if they can, and they need time to learn strategies to do so.

Drilling Strategies

Top Three Drilling Strategies:

1. Reflective listening and clarifying statements

2. Asking ”W” questions (the who, what, where, when of the unsolved problem)

8. Summarising (recapping and asking for more concerns)

3. Asking about the situational variability of the unsolved problem

4. Asking kids what they are thinking in the midst of the unsolved problem

5. Breaking the problem down into its component parts

6. Discrepant Observation

7. Tabling (“removing” and asking for more concerns)

If you are doing the empathy, you need to be happy with the answer, even if it is negative against you, or the child will not feel like they can tell you, as you are the one making it hard to meet the expectation.

Use the CHEAT SHEET!

Plan B: Empathy Step - never think of solutions in this step!

The kid says something

Additional Pointers:

• You’re not thinking about solutions in the Empathy step (it’s a “Solution-Free Zone”)
• Remember, “drilling” isn’t “grilling”…it involves “listening,” not “lessoning” or “lessening” (dismissing) or ”trumping” - where your concerns are more important than the childs
• Stay neutral and non-defensive throughout the Empathy step (suspend your emotional response…this step isn’t about you)…the information is more important than style points
• Don’t rush (the Empathy step is not a mechanical formality…you’re really curious…you really want to know!) - Curious not Furious!
• Don’t freak (“I don’t know”, and silence are pretty standard)
• Keep drilling

Other Responses to “What’s Up?”

”I don’t have a problem with that” or “I don’t care”

That’s the beginning of their concern or perspective…start drilling!

Other Responses to “What’s Up?”

”I don’t want to talk about it right now”

• First, assume they have a good reason
• Next, give them permission not to talk
• See if they’ll talk about why they don’t want to talk about it
• Don’t do anything today that will reduce the likelihood of the kid talking to you tomorrow

This is not a trickery model, it is a comfort model!

You can always wait until tomorrow, as these unsolved problems have been here for a while; one more day won't hurt.

Other Responses to “What’s Up?”

Defensiveness: ”I don’t have to talk to you!”

The kid may need reassurance that you’re not using Plan A

• I’m not going to tell you the solution”
• “You’re not in trouble”
• “I’m not mad at you”
• “I’m just trying to understand”

Plan B: Define Adult Concerns Step

Goal:

Enter the adult’s concern or perspective into consideration in a way that doesn’t cause the child to feel that their concerns are being dismissed or disregarded (beginning with “The thing is…” or “My concern is…”).

We often don't know what the true concern is as we are already coming to and imposing solutions!

Our concern is: why is it important that this expectation be met?

What’s Hard: Adults frequently don’t know what their concerns are…adult concerns are the answer

To this question: Why is it important that the expectation be met?

Two Possibilities:

1. How is the unsolved problem affecting the kid?

2. How is the unsolved problem affecting other people?

(Typically: Health, safety, learning, fairness)

Plan B: Invitation Step

Goal: Collaborate on a solution that is realistic and mutually satisfactory.